IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE TECH-MAS!

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

'Tis a month before Christmas; our wallets are thin;
Still, we venture forth holiday shopping again.
The economy stinks, but the little ones beg
For toys that will cost us an arm and a leg!

In our day, we marveled at dump trucks and dolls,
Cassette players, tea sets and spongy Nerf balls.
If we ran out of batteries, we weren’t defeated –
Our imaginations were all that we needed

But now the Technology Age has arrived,
When a kid with no iPod's considered deprived!
Today's plugged-in kids, our old-fashioned toys bore 'em
'Cause too many gadgets do their thinking for 'em!

So onward we traipse, as if marching to war,
To elbow our way through some crowded toy store.
For the item that's one of this year's biggest choices:
Creatures that respond to their masters’ voices.

There's D-Rex the dinosaur, Biscuit the pup
And Wall-E the robot – they're grabbing 'em up!
It's a kid's fondest power-trip dream that's come true –
Finally, someone they can tell what to do!

Yet another new Elmo has set sales a-boomin';
It's creepy how he becomes more and more human!
Now he plays games, tells stories and blows flying kisses
If he wants to impress ME, he'll wash all my dishes!

Parents practically need to enlist a translator
To decipher the code spoken by their teenager:
"IDK if want a DS or a Wii
"Or a PS2 Silver or PS3 80GB."

Is he babbling in tongues? Is he speaking in Greek?
What are these strange acronyms of which he speaks?
Rolling his eyes, the kid deigns to assist them,
"OMG, Mom and Dad, it's a gaming system!"

And lest Hannah Montana should put her to shame,
Even trusty old Barbie has video games!
She's gotta keep up with the Joneses – and Jonases;
So she offers a sleigh-load of electronic bonuses!

But don't be disheartened by technology's sway;
Introduce kids to stuff we loved back in the day.
All the classic playthings from the Toy Hall of Fame –
Off the top of my head, here's a few I can name:

There's Lite-Brite! There's Slinky!
There's Tonkas and Play-Doh!
ViewMaster and Twister!
And Big Wheels and Lego!
To the top of the shelves!
To the stores and the malls!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!

Getting back to the basics can save you some dough
In these hardscrabble times when finances are low.
If your kids bellyache, bellow, bluster and bawl,
Remind them of those who'll get nothing at all!