MOVIELAND’S MOST-QUOTED MISQUOTES

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

"Luke, I am your father."

Everyone in the free world recognizes this line from a jaw-dropping scene in a legendary sci-fi film, when the protagonist’s paternity is proclaimed in moviedom’s most memorable "Maury Povich" moment. In a game of Jeopardy, even someone like me, who’s never seen the flick in question but knows just enough to reasonably fake it, would punch the buzzer and triumphantly shout, "Who is Darth Vader, Alex?"

And Mr. Trebek would regretfully reply, "I’m sorry, but that’s wrong. Darth Vader did not say those words."

I know! I was as shocked as you! (At least I have the excuse of being a big Fakey McFaker who’s never seen the film.) Diehard devotees already know this: What Vader actually said in "Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back" was, "No, I am your father,"in response to Luke Skywalker’s accusation about his father’s death.

According to a survey at lovefilm.com. "Luke, I am your father" is the daddy of film misquotes, topping a list of the 10 most common misquotes compiled after polling 1,500 filmgoers. What the survey didn’t show, however, is that for every misquoted movie quote, there’s another movie that uses the misquote, therefore making it a correct quote. In other words, right quote, wrong movie. So if you fancied yourself a master impressionist every time you asthmatically intoned, "Luke …," you weren’t imitating Darth Vader, you were citing Chris Farley’s character in "Tommy Boy."

Here’s the rest of lovefilm.com’s list, with the actual movie quotes, and as a bonus from yours truly, films containing the misquoted quotes.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" – "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"

Actual quote: "Magic mirror on the wall …"

Misquote used in "101 Dalmatians"

"Do you feel lucky, punk?" – "Dirty Harry"

Actual quote: "You’ve got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"

Misquote used in "Scary Movie 2"

"Play it again, Sam." – "Casablanca"

Actual quote: "Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By'."

Misquote used in "Moonraker"

"Hello, Clarice."– "The Silence of the Lambs"

Actual quote: "Good evening, Clarice."

Misquote used in "Dr. Dolittle 2"(by a caged boar, no less.)

"Beam me up, Scotty." – "Star Trek" (TV and films)

Actual quote: "Scotty, beam us up."

Misquote used in "Armageddon"

"Frankly, Scarlett, I don’t give a damn." – "Gone With the Wind"

Actual quote: "Frankly, my dear …"

Misquote used in "Clue"

"If you build it, they will come." – "Field of Dreams"

Actual quote: "If you build it, he will come."

Misquote used in "Eight Legged Freaks"

"I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto." – "The Wizard of Oz"

Actual quote: "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

Misquote used in "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"

"Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" – "The Graduate"

Actual quote: "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."

Misquote used in "The Ladies Man"