A SANDWICH BY ANY OTHER NAME …

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

In Hollywood, you know you’ve “arrived” when, instead of having you OVER for lunch, people have you FOR lunch – figuratively, that is. Restaurants, diners and delis across the U.S. celebrate celebrities with a smorgasbord of sandwiches, salads, sides and sundry snackables named for stars of TV, film, music and sports.

For some businesses, there’s no business like show business for drumming up big business. For instance, at New York’s Stage Deli, you can chow down on a Kevin Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato, a Richard Simmons Tropical Fruit Salad or a Dolly Parton – no, it’s not a double serving of extra-large chicken breasts, but pastrami and corned beef on twin rolls. Stage Deli also boasts Sid’s Caesar Salad and the Tiger Woods, which, inexplicably, is a Reuben sandwich; I guess "pork and tongue sub" didn’t sound too appealing.

With the exception of the aforementioned cleverly named dishes, it seems most eateries simply stamp a name on a particular food because a certain star once ordered it or a particular personality is their idol or the ingredients vaguely reflect the honoree’s ethnic origins – e.g., Carnegie Deli’s famous Woody Allen sandwich (pastrami and corned beef on rye).

I’m more a fan of menu items that pay tribute to a specific attribute of a celebrity – something like: The Kardashian: Roast beef, trimmed of unnecessary fat and served on two hot buns – or names that play on celebrity’s name and/or work – Samuel L. Jackson Steaks on a Plane, anyone?

If there are any restaurateurs out there in need of ideas to spice up their menus, I’m your go-to-girl! I have more ideas than a Big Mac has calories. Here are some morsels of food for thought:

* Spam Anderson

* Tom Shanks

* The Brad Pita

* Roseanne Salad Barr

* Britney Asparagus Spears

* Tyra-misu Banks

* Bismarcky Mark Wahlberg

* The Hulk Hoagie

* Terri Garr-lic Bread

* Johnny Hash – served with …

* Seth Green Eggs and Ham

* Dane Cookies ‘n’ Cream

* Johnny Depp-Dish Pizza

* Bernie Mac & Cheese

* Jane Fondue

* Jason Mrazberry Pie

* Snoop Chili Dogg

* Jean-Claude Flan Damme

* Ladyfingers GaGa

* Al Cap-Pacino