GIVING NEW MEANING TO "MORNING ZOO"

By BELINDA M. PASCHAL
Radio is going to the dogs.
Well, that’s been obvious for years, particularly since a corporate monster whose name rhymes with "sheer flannel" stomped across the U.S. like King Kong on a steroid bender, devouring more than 1,000 stations along the way.
In this instance, radio has literally capitulated to the canine crowd – in the form of Internet broadcasting. The recently-launched DogRadioThailand.com features barking deejays playing vocal and instrumental music 24/7, reports the Bangkok Post.
Anupan Boonchuen, director of a dog grooming school, started DogRadioThailand because he believes listening to music has an effect on canine behavior. "I've noticed that dogs often respond to music. Some wag their tails. Some lift their heads while lying on the floor."
Not much different from my response when a Michael Bolton song comes on. Of course, I’m only lifting my head to gain momentum as I violently drive it back down against the cold, hard linoleum.
"We found that when we turned on music the dogs' mood improved," Boonchuen said. "They were more obedient and let us trim their hair easily."
Again – not much different from my reaction when I hear James Blunt caterwauling You’re Beautiful. I, too, become obedient. And by "obedient," I mean "brain-dead and drooling."
Ten human students from the school have been hired as deejays. Boonchuen said one of the main qualifications for the job included "must be good at barking." I’m guessing another requirement is "must lose anything even remotely resembling dignity."
The programming on DogRadioThailand.com will be primarily Thai pop music. I’d like to see this expand to include Western pop, which is a hit among the human population of many foreign countries. I envision a multi-genre play list catering to canines from all walks of life. For the old dogs, there’d be classics by The Beagles (featuring Paw McCartney), The Rolling Bones, Barky Manilow and Steppenwoof. Music-loving pups can shake their tails to the likes of Collie Clarkson, Garf Brooks and of course, Snoop Dogg and Bow Wow.
Eventually, the station’s offerings will include segments during which the disc jockey will talk and canine listeners will be encouraged to respond.
"At 9 a.m., we may have a dog greeting show, in which we'll repeat ‘sawasdee’ (‘hello’) over and over," Boonchuen said. "In some houses, the dog may lift both paws in response. In some houses, the dog may lift only one paw. It depends on how the dog was trained."
If DogRadioThailand catches on, it could lead to a whole new industry aimed specifically at man’s best friend. Imagine the first just-for-dogs sportscast:
"Here’s Jim Kibbleson-Bitts with the WWK9 sports news."
"Thank you, Steve. In yesterday’s go-fetch tournament, the Dayton Dobermans took a bite out of the Middletown Mastiffs, and Barkley the basset hound received a special award for being such a good boy."
One question – will the weather reporter be required to avoid offending the audience by saying, "It’s raining cats and humans"?