AND THE INVITEES ARE ...

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

While Will Smith is gettin’ jiggy with it at some A-list post-Oscar bash, those of us whose invitations got lost in the mail will have to rely on our own creativity if we want to party like the glitterati.

Film awards season is upon us, kicked off by the Golden Globes and Screen Actors Guild (SAG) ceremonies, and culminating with the granddaddy of all awards shows, the 79th Annual Academy Awards.

With the Oscars less than a month away, movie lovers are planning gatherings to see who’ll take home the coveted statuettes and who’ll graciously smile through clenched teeth while claiming, "It was an honor just to be nominated."

But why have just an ordinary Sunday night get-together when you can transform your humble abode into a celeb-worthy hotspot? Here are a few tips for hosting your own award-winning Oscar-palooza:

* Play dress up. – Within reason, of course. Unless you’ve booked, say, the Schuster Center for a bona fide black-tie affair, don’t make the dress code too stringent. Tuxes and tails are nice, but don’t turn your nose up at a guest who opts for the classic tuxedo T-shirt instead. It could be worse – he could show up dressed as Oscar. Ever tried to clean bronzer from your upholstery? (Don’t ask.) Not to mention that Oscar is anatomically incorrect and that’s just …well, creepy.

* Treat your guests as if they are actually at the Academy Awards. – In other words, pander shamelessly to those who might be of use to you in the future. Just kidding. We’re talking red carpet at the door, name cards on their chairs and such. (But save the best seats for the really important people. Just in case.)

* Do a shot each time host Ellen DeGeneres makes a goofy face. – Sure, you’ll be snockered before the first commercial break, but you’ll be a lot happier sitting through the awards no one cares about.

* See how many "Golden Globes" and "SAG" jokes you and your guests can derive from the often-revealing dresses worn by Oscar attendees.

* Serve snacks with themes devoted to the nominees. – For instance, mini-crumpets for The Queen. Or Peeps bunnies in little hats for The Illusionist. (Good luck finding ‘em – wabbit-hunting season is still a couple of months away.). For The Most Overhyped Overrated Film – oops, I mean Best Adapted Screenplay, Borat? A big fat ham. Yo-ho-ho and a platter of rum balls for Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest! And for Costume Design nominee Marie Antoinette, let them eat cake!

Of course, the snacks are purely for show, since eating doesn’t seem to be a popular trend in Hollywood.

* During the pre-show, have your guests make their own Oscar predictions. Make a ballot or print the one at http://www.oscar.com/nominees and see who makes the most correct choices. The winner receives an IOU for a DVD of the Best Picture.

Last but not least, don’t forget the loser. Should I be invited to any parties (hint, hint), I assure you this person will be me, as I have broken my former habit of seeing most or all of the Best Picture nominees. It’ll be an honor to receive my IOU for a VHS copy of Borat.