Photo: Dayton Daily NewsBY BELINDA M. PASCHAL
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. Then one day, he was shootin’ at some food, when Brandon Walsh stepped in and said, “Hold your fire, dude!”
What? That’s not the way the song goes, you say? Well, that’s how it goes in my head – a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there – where cornpone meets caviar, jalopies park beside Jags, and Ellie Mae dates Dylan McKay.
Imagine if the Clampetts had loaded up their truck and moved to Beverly (Hills, that is), circa 1993, and found themselves in the midst of a teen soap opera that addressed topical issues like alcoholism, domestic violence, gay rights, drug abuse and AIDS. Not exactly the stuff of comedy, but Jed and his kinfolk would change that in no time. “My boy’s takin’ Brenda Walsh to that there fancy shindig over to the high school! Wee doggies!”
Welcome to “Beverly Hillbillies 90210.” Cue banjo music.
Think about it: Granny and Andrea lounging beside the “cee-ment pond” … Ellie Mae in a catfight with Brenda … Mrs. Walsh putting the moves on Jethro … Ellie Mae in a catfight with Kelly … Miss Hathaway putting the moves on David Silver … Ellie Mae in a catfight with Donna.
Considering the lack of originality on TV these days, I think it’s a pretty good idea. If one show can spin off from another, why can’t two shows spin INTO each other? You’d get twice the entertainment in half the viewing time!
If you like your comedy mixed with something harder than teen drama, stay tuned for Freddie Prinze Jr.’s prime-time debut as a fast-talking barrio boy who joins the agents of the United Network Command for Law Enforcement to combat evil and crabby old auto garage owners. “Chico and the Man from U.N.C.L.E.” is must-see TV!
Isaiah Washington battled accusations of homophobia toward former “Grey’s Anatomy” co-star T.R. Knight, but the actors put their differences aside – or rather, use them to their advantage – in the first secret agent adventure series to feature a gay-hetero buddy pairing. Don’t miss “Queer I-Spy for the Straight Guy” … every episode features a car chase and a makeover!
During a trip to New York with Dorothy and Blanche to attend Sophia’s funeral, Rose Nylund is so taken with the Big Apple that she decides to stay. With her new home comes a new job as the personal assistant to the editor of an ultra-hip fashion magazine. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fall in love with “Ugly Betty White.”
While we’re at it, why not merge TV shows with movies? Coming soon to a pay-per-view-channel near you: “Malcolm X in the Middle,” “The Rocky Balboa and Bullwinkle Show,” “Married … with Children of the Corn” …
I’ve got a million of ‘em, folks. But it’s time for me to pause for a word from my sponsor, so … y’all come back now, ya hear?
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