YOU FEEL LUCKY, PUNK?

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

TGIF (tee-gee-eye-eff)--interjection. 1. Acronym for "Thank God It's Friday," a common refrain of laborers who, like mullet-haired 80's rockers Loverboy, are "workin' for the weekend." 2. Something superstitious people won't be saying today.

Friday the 13th. What is it about this day that makes people jumpier than spit on a hot skillet? In extreme cases, some folks refuse to leave home until the bell tolls Saturday, releasing them from the paralyzing grip of paraskavedekatriaphobia – a fancy, unpronounceable way of saying, "Friday the 13th scares the bejabbers out of me."

Folklorists say there’s no documentation of this superstition before the 19th century. Probably because the evidence was shredded by a black cat that broke a mirror while carrying an open umbrella in the house. Obviously, I’m joking – lacking opposable thumbs, cats cannot carry umbrellas. But seriously, there are several theories about the superstition’s origin, the simplest being that it’s an amalgamation of two older superstitions: 1) Thirteen is an unlucky number, and 2) Friday is an unlucky day.

Personally, I don’t see what all the hoopla is about. I’d rather have 13 dollars – or donuts – than 12 and any day I wake up on the alive side of the bed is a lucky one. If that day happens to be Friday – be it the 13th or 23rd – bonus! No work tomorrow! I won’t have to leave the house except to run to the store for $13 worth of donuts!

Many of us herald the arrival of each Friday like it’s some kind of holiday, so why not observe Friday the 13th the same way? We throw parties on birthdays, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve … why not celebrate a new kind of "Black Friday"? Laughing in the face of superstition is the perfect way to overcome your fears.

First, you’ll want to invite 12 guests – plus you, that equals 13 people. Next, what’s on the menu? In some cultures, eating chicken on holidays is forbidden for fear that your luck could fly away. Pfft. Ever seen a chicken fly? Oh, they DO … just not very well. So serve those buffalo wings without fear! But go easy on the sauce or you might not feel so lucky later. Choose your poison and drink to luck, then follow your toast with dessert – something simple like Rice Krispies treats. But instead of the traditional snap-crackle-popular cereal, use Lucky Charms. They’re magically delicious!

After a game of Pin the Lucky Foot on the Rabbit, end the evening with a movie. The long list of appropriately themed films includes two versions of "Freaky Friday" and (if you can overlook the idiotic spelling) "Thir13een Ghosts," but the obvious choice is "Friday the 13th" or one of its numerous sequels. I think they’re up to "Part 287: Jason Gets a Hangnail" now.

If you’re not up for a gorefest, check out 1978’s "Thank God It’s Friday." Sure, it’s a musical comedy, but it’s chock-full of disco-era fashions and frankly, it doesn’t get much scarier than that.