I KNOW IT’S ONLY MOCK ‘N’ ROLL

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

The term “poser” is anathema to most pop stars, but there are those who let their "fake" flags fly with pride. Take, for instance, Spinal Tap, arguably the most successful fictional rock band in music and movie history. They’ve performed on “Saturday Night Live,” played Carnegie Hall, and appeared in animated form on “The Simpsons.”

They even reunited to raise awareness of global warming in the SOS/Live Earth concert series two years ago. (Nevermind that they thought the warmth was caused by wearing too many clothes.) Now, David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) and Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) are hitting the road again to celebrate the 25th anniversary of their mockumentary, "This Is Spinal Tap,” with a 30-city trek beginning April 17 in Vancouver.

This time, “the world’s loudest band” won’t be blowing out eardrums with their trademark cranked-up-to-11 volume. Dialing it down to about 8.5, they’re going acoustic and packing away the shag hairpieces for their “Unwigged and Unplugged” tour. No word yet on who’s signing on to play drums, but whoever he is better be blessed with nine lives, as Tap is known to go through percussionist like Pam Anderson goes through husbands. Only Mick Fleetwood has emerged unscathed, avoiding spontaneous combustion, choking on vomit of unknown origin and other grisly fates that befell the band’s two dozen other drummers.

In addition to Spinal Tap, many other faux-rockers boast more impressive careers, more checkered histories and often, more talent, than a lot of real bands. Here’s a non-comprehensive alphabetical list of ersatz entertainers, most of whom you can watch perform live, thanks to the miracle of DVD (asterisks denote bands with the same names as their TV shows/movies):

The Archies – “The Archie Show”

Autobahn – “The Big Lebowski”

The Barbusters – “Light of Day”

Barry Jive and the Uptown Five – “High Fidelity”

The Blues Brothers*

CB4*

Citizen Dick – “Singles”

The Commitments*

Crucial Taunt – “Wayne’s World”

Dewey Cox & Band – “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”

Dingoes Ate My Baby – “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (TV show)

The Dreamettes – “Dreamgirls”

Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem – “The Muppet Show”

Eddie and the Cruisers*

Fat Albert & the Junkyard Band – “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids”

The Five Heartbeats*

Hedwig and the Angry Inch*

Jesse and the Rippers – “Full House”

Josie and the Pussycats*

Leather Tuscadero & The Suedes – “Happy Days”

Mystik Spiral – “Daria”

N.W.H. – “Fear of a Black Hat”

The Rutles (think Monty Python meets the Beatles) – “All You Need Is Cash”

Sexual Chocolate – “Coming to America”

The Soggy Bottom Boys – “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”

Sonic Death Monkey – “High Fidelity”

The Stains – “Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains”

Stillwater – “Almost Famous”

Venus in Furs – “Velvet Goldmine”

Wyld Stallyns – “Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure,” “Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey”

The Wonders – “That Thing You Do!”