TRAVELING FOR COUCH POTATOES

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

For a year and a half, readers have asked me periodically, “When ya gonna do another column about cities with weird names? That first one was so funny, I sent it to my aunt (or cousin or prison pen pal), to prove there are places with weirder names than the town she lives in (or goes to college or makes license plates in).”

The aforementioned column, which ran in October 2007, lamented the prevalence of boringly named fictional towns on television, e.g., Mayberry, Springfield and Arlen. I mean, if you’re gonna make up a place, why not call it something catchy like Quahog or New New York? I also suggested situating TV shows in real cities that reflect the programs’ themes – for instance, a legal drama set in Justice, Ill., or a baseball-related show based in Centerfield, Ohio.

I was surprised by the requests for an encore column, as I didn’t realize folks were so interested in geography. Or maybe they just want to giggle some more at place names like Fanny, Buttzville and French Lick.

Whatever the reason, I’m more than happy to oblige, for not only does this allow me to share new and amusing information, it also makes writing easier when my well of column ideas is emptier than a supermodel’s lunchbox.

So, without further ado, I present for your viewing pleasure:

Space TV on Public Access (think “Wayne’s World” for Trekkies and “Star Wars” fanatics), offering shows broadcast from basements in Vulcan, W.Va.; Enterprise, Miss.; Chewey, Okla.; and Vader, Wash.

The Fast Food Network, featuring tours of eateries in McDonald, N.M., and White Castle, La.

Highlights of Fido-Vision include shows based in Dog Town, Ala.; Doghouse Junction, Calif; and Marked Tree, Ark.

On the Church Channel, there’s something for virtually every denomination, with services taped in Holy Ghost, N.M.; Pray, Mont.; Vatican, La.; Pope Crossing, N.C.; The Holy City, Okla.; Mormon Bar, Calif.; and Allah, Ariz.

The chronically pessimistic can get their daily dose of gloom and doom on WWOE, broadcasting out of Cape Disappointment, Wash.; Fort Misery, Ariz.; and Bummerville, Calif.

Every day’s a holiday on Yule-TV, which offers shows set in Christmas Cove, Maine; Christmas City, Utah; Christmas Valley, Ore.; Christmasville, Tenn.; Santa, Idaho; Eggnog, Utah; and Tannenbaum, Ark.

Dust off your white three-piece suit and platform shoes and get ready to boogie with “Solid American Gold Dance Bandstand Fever,” filmed on location in Disco, Ill.

The Gambling Network takes you live to casinos in Keno, Ore.; Black Jack, Ky.; Bingo, Maine; and Jackpot, Nev.

On ParenTV, topics range from starting a family (with advice from doctors in Fertile, Iowa and Conception, Mo.) to potty-training, with a reality show featuring families in Euren, Wis.; Pee Pee, Ohio; and Flush, Kan.

Automotive buffs can tune in to shows shot in Ford, Miss.; Chevrolet, Ky.; Cadillac, Mich.; Pontiac, Mich.; Honda, Calif.; and Accord, Mass.

Whew … all this traveling has left me exhausted. I think I’ll head to Sleepy Hollow, N.Y. – by way of Featherbed, Md.