THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SNOW BUSINESS

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

Oh, the weather last week was frightful and being snowed in was none too delightful. Especially if you happened to be stranded away from home and the comforts therein – your own bed … your own broken-in sofa with your own personal butt groove … your own remote control that you don’t have to steal from your mom while she’s taking a nap.


I spent much of my confinement surfing the tube for a good winter movie, but the closest thing I could find was “Home Alone.” While that light-hearted tale of child neglect indeed takes place during the snowy season, it’s really more of a Christmas flick than a movie in which the weather has a starring role.

Next time a freak snowstorm hits, I’ll be better prepared with a few films to nicely complement my wintry mood:

* “Misery” – You'll think twice about driving in the snow after watching this 1990 thriller. Suddenly, that quick run to Speedway for nachos and a tub o’ soda won’t seem so important.

* “Snow Day” – One free day isn’t enough for the conniving schoolkids in this comedy that’s bound to give young viewers a few ideas, most of them illegal. Any flick featuring Iggy Pop just might be worth the cost of springing Junior from kiddie jail.

* “Cool Runnings” – Four Jamaican bobsledders plus one dream plus 25 below zero equal 98 minutes you don’t have to spend shoveling snow.

* “Groundhog Day” – Think you’ve got it bad? Imagine you’re Bill Murray living through the longest winter ever as Feb. 2 repeats over and over and over. Or worse, imagine being Punxsutawney Phil.

* “Alive” – This is the true story of a Uruguayan rugby team stranded in the Andes after a plane crash and driven to, um, “desperate measures” to survive. This is a movie you can sink your teeth into, an affecting tale that’s bound to eat away at you long after it’s over. Any further plot spoilers would be in, ahem, bad taste.

* “MXP: Most Xtreme Primate” – Best. Snowboarding Monkey. Movie. Ever. Period.

* “March of the Penguins” – Narrated by Morgan Freeman (who also does voiceovers in my head), this documentary follows the annual mating trek of Emperor penguins across the unforgiving Antarctic, where they endure sub-zero temperatures and gale-force blizzards, risking life and wing all in the name of love. Apparently, they’ve never heard of eHarmony.com.

* “Happy Feet” – This animated Oscar-winner takes a light-but-still-educational look at penguin mating rituals and, without becoming heavy-handed, teaches important lessons in accepting each others’ differences. It also teaches us that, even in cartoon form, Robin Williams will shamelessly chew every bit of scenery that crosses his path.

* The Shining” – A snowbound writer (Jack Nicholson) goes all Lizzie Borden on his wife and son in this Kubrick classic.

On second thought, I’d better scratch that last one off my list. It’s probably not the best thing to watch when you’re snowed in at your mom’s for three days.