Friday, February 12, 2010

NO VALENTINE? IT’S NOT THE KISS OF DEATH


BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL
(SAYS ‘I LOVE YOU’ ALL YEAR ROUND)

Valentine’s Day … oh, the images those two words evoke! Lovers gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes, heart-shaped boxes brimming with chocolaty goodness, long-stemmed roses and the trill of love in the air!

For some, however, ‘tis a day of dread, a reminder that the only person gazing in their eyes is the one in the mirror as they mourn a lost or not-yet-found love. Cheer up, mopey - being single on Valentine's Day isn't the end of the world. If it were, Cupid would have fallen on his own arrow by now!

For those single by choice, it’s like Independence Day, a celebration of the freedom to gaze openly at whomever they want without having to sleep on the couch later! For those who view marriage as an institution to which they never want to be committed, it’s apt that Valentine’s Day is named after a guy who was imprisoned and sentenced to death.

Whatever their reasons for being uncoupled, singletons have one thing in common: Being overlooked on Valentine’s Day, even on the airwaves, where they’re subjected to Lionel Richie promising his endless love and Sting vowing, in stalker fashion, that every breath you take, he’ll be watching you.

Paul McCartney had it all wrong – some people HAVE had enough of silly love songs. If you fall into that category, here’s a bouquet of lovelorn laments and caustic kiss-offs for your commiseration or celebration:

1. “All I Want From You (Is Away)” – Loretta Lynn

2. “Anti Love Song” – Lenny Kravitz


3. “Don't Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)” - Mötley Crüe


4. “Flushed from the Bathroom of Your Heart” - Johnny Cash


5. “Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth ('Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye)” - Ray Stevens


6. “Hate Everything About You” - Ugly Kid Joe


7. “Have a Nice Rest of Your Life” – Randy Travis


8. “Heartbreak Hotel” - Elvis Presley


9. “I Don’t Want You Back” – Eamon (Explicit lyrics)


10. “If The Phone Don't Ring, It's Me” - Jimmy Buffett


11. “If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?” - Mayday Parade


12. “I’m Gonna Forget About You” – Sam Cooke


13. “Kiss This” - Aaron Tippin


14. “Love Bites – Def Leppard


15. “Love Don't Live Here Anymore” - Rose Royce


16. “Love is a Losing Game – Amy Winehouse


17. “Love Stinks” - J. Geils Band


18. “Not Tonight (I Have a Heartache)” - George Thorogood


19. “Since You've Been Gone” - Weird Al Yankovic (“It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved a red-hot cactus up my nose!”)


20. “Sleeping Single in a Double Bed” - Barbara Mandrell


21. “Song For the Dumped” - Ben Folds Five


22. “Tainted Love” - Soft Cell


23. “Take Your Love and Shove it”- Joe Pesci (Yes, THAT Joe Pesci.)


24. “Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone” - Roy Clark


25. “The Last Word in Lonesome is Me” - Roger Miller


26. “What Part of ‘No’ Don't You Understand?” - Lorrie Morgan


27. “Where Did Our Love Go? ” – The Supremes


28. “Without You” - Nilsson


29. “You Hurt Me (And I Hate You)” – Eurythmics


30. “You've Lost That Loving Feeling” - Righteous Brothers

2 comments:

donutgurl said...

some of my fav songs! thanks for givin us single folks a reason to smile on this EVIL holiday

Anonymous said...

I've always loved that line: "Thank God and Greyhound, She's Gone." Even though I wasn't alone this Valentine's Day, I appreciate this column in honor of the long, long time I was...