THE YEAR IN REVIEW REVUE

BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL

It’s a brand-new year, full of hope, promise and resolutions that will be shattered by sundown. What better time to reminisce about the previous year in entertainment, to recall the faux pas, foibles and fumbles of some of Tinseltown’s finest – or in some cases, foolhardiest? After all, old acquaintance should not be forgot and never brought to mind!

To the tune of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

It’s a most nostalgic time of the year!
When we visit once more all those who heretofore
Made us smile, scoff or sneer!
It’s a most nostalgic time of the year!

I’m recap-capping the season’s headlines!
Of the stars’ highs and lows, of their wins and their woes
For inquiring minds!
I’m recap-capping the season’s headlines!

Jon and Kate dominated, by year’s end we hated
To see them wherever we turned!
With their schemin’ and plottin’, their kids all but forgotten
No surprise that their show crashed and burned!

Kanye West hijacked the spotlight last year!
Interrupted Ms. Swift and left everyone miffed
And the poor girl in tears!
But Beyoncé saved the show, amid cheers!

Young Chris Brown showed his true stripes by taking a few swipes
Rihanna he battered and cussed!
But she rallied quicker and emerged the victor
And left that chump eating her dust!

Many stars were overexposed this past year!
Spence and Heidi, take note: You’ve been shoved down our throats,
Would you please disappear?
Many stars were overexposed this past year!

Carrie Prejean lost her crown, gave gay-marriage thumbs down
And drew much backlash from Perez!
Photographs in the near-buff, if that wasn’t enough
A sex tape compounded the mess!

Speaking of Perez, ‘twas not his best year!
He was put in his place by a fist in the face
Well-deserved, so we hear!
Perhaps he’ll keep his big mouth shut this year!

Late-night talk bade adieu to Jay Leno in June
Conan filled his big shoes in the fall
“ER” made history – 15 years on TV!
“Guiding Light” made its last curtain call

And we lost many bright stars through the year:
From the 70’s era, an angel named Farrah
Many held her so dear!
Yes, we lost many bright stars through the year

On the same day, a big shock shook the world of pop-rock
When Michael took his final bow
And Walter Cronkite said his final goodnight
Swayze danced his way up to the clouds

Here’s to more headlines throughout the new year!
‘Cos it’s guaran-dang-teed, stars will booze, brawl and breed
Or screw up their careers!
And give us more entertainment this year!