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BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL
As we stand on the precipice of 2011, looking back on the Entertainment Year That Was, one thing is painfully evident: By and large, the rich and famous are nutty, and the fans who make them richer and famouser are even nuttier.
Walk with me on my annual stroll down memory lane and remember the highs and lows, triumphs and woes of The Beautiful People, especially those who engaged in some not-so-beautiful behavior. Sung to the tune of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” this ditty is suitable for all ages, anytime, anywhere. Feel free to belt it out in public – the grocery store, school, church – but don’t blame me if you get ejected, expelled or excommunicated.
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It’s the most ponder-ful time of the year!
When we review the news
Of celebrities whose
Antics we booed and cheered!
It’s the most ponder-ful time of the year!
The recap-cappiest season of all!
Who got hitched, who got ditched?
Who went broke or got rich?
Whose high jinks did appall?
The recap-cappiest season of all!
“Jersey Shore” – looky, looky! – at overtanned Snooki!
And that dimwit we know as The Sitch!
Every cast member’s face was all over the place
And Jwoww? Hey, wow, she’s such a … witch!
We were plagued by “Bieber Fever” this year!
Fangirls fainted and screamed
For this pubescent dream
With the haircut we jeered!
We were plagued by “Bieber Fever” this year!
The songbirds on “Glee” dominated TV
With Jane Lynch and her humor so dry!
In her red jogging gear, Sue Sylvester struck fear
In the body of McKinley High!
Betty White made a big comeback this year!
When it seemed “SNL”
Soon would ring its death knell
Hostess Betty appeared!
Golden Girl brought back the laughter this year!
Viewers started rebellin’
When “Idol” got Ellen
She’s awesome, but not in that role!
And they really cried “foul” when that grump Simon Cowell
Announced that he was leaving the show!
L.A. cops worked hard in two thousand ten!
Paris Hilton played dumb
Claimed the drugs looked like gum
Lindsay Lohan … again!
L.A. cops worked hard in two thousand ten!
Cher’s kid caused quite a stir;
Printing presses did whir
When her daughter’s news got back to them
Some folks found it outrageous, but some called it courageous
When Chaz became HIM ‘stead of HER!
Tiger found himself bleeding
And quickly retreating
When caught swinging off the golf course
His indiscreet cheating earned him a sound beating
As well as a costly divorce!
We bade farewell to some legends this year:
Lena Horne, Dennis Hopper
Blake Edwards, Lynn Redgrave
Lots more we held dear!
Yes, we lost several bright stars this past year.
Goodbye, lovely June Cleaver
From “Leave it to Beaver”
Gary Coleman’s death gave quite a jar
Same goes for Corey Haim – both were once household names;
Two of Hollywood’s biggest child stars.
So please join me again this time next year!
We’ll reflect, retrospect
Speculate, contemplate,
All the star news we hear!
Tune in same time and same channel next year!
BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL
It’s a brand-new year, full of hope, promise and resolutions that will be shattered by sundown. What better time to reminisce about the previous year in entertainment, to recall the faux pas, foibles and fumbles of some of Tinseltown’s finest – or in some cases, foolhardiest? After all, old acquaintance should not be forgot and never brought to mind!
To the tune of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
It’s a most nostalgic time of the year!
When we visit once more all those who heretofore
Made us smile, scoff or sneer!
It’s a most nostalgic time of the year!
I’m recap-capping the season’s headlines!
Of the stars’ highs and lows, of their wins and their woes
For inquiring minds!
I’m recap-capping the season’s headlines!
Jon and Kate dominated, by year’s end we hated
To see them wherever we turned!
With their schemin’ and plottin’, their kids all but forgotten
No surprise that their show crashed and burned!
Kanye West hijacked the spotlight last year!
Interrupted Ms. Swift and left everyone miffed
And the poor girl in tears!
But Beyoncé saved the show, amid cheers!
Young Chris Brown showed his true stripes by taking a few swipes
Rihanna he battered and cussed!
But she rallied quicker and emerged the victor
And left that chump eating her dust!
Many stars were overexposed this past year!
Spence and Heidi, take note: You’ve been shoved down our throats,
Would you please disappear?
Many stars were overexposed this past year!
Carrie Prejean lost her crown, gave gay-marriage thumbs down
And drew much backlash from Perez!
Photographs in the near-buff, if that wasn’t enough
A sex tape compounded the mess!
Speaking of Perez, ‘twas not his best year!
He was put in his place by a fist in the face
Well-deserved, so we hear!
Perhaps he’ll keep his big mouth shut this year!
Late-night talk bade adieu to Jay Leno in June
Conan filled his big shoes in the fall
“ER” made history – 15 years on TV!
“Guiding Light” made its last curtain call
And we lost many bright stars through the year:
From the 70’s era, an angel named Farrah
Many held her so dear!
Yes, we lost many bright stars through the year
On the same day, a big shock shook the world of pop-rock
When Michael took his final bow
And Walter Cronkite said his final goodnight
Swayze danced his way up to the clouds
Here’s to more headlines throughout the new year!
‘Cos it’s guaran-dang-teed, stars will booze, brawl and breed
Or screw up their careers!
And give us more entertainment this year!
BY BELINDA M. PASCHAL
This is my last column of 2008, so what better time to look back on some of this year’s highlights (or in some cases, lowlights) in entertainment? And since it's the holiday season, what better way to reflect than in song? Feel free to go door-to-door serenading your neighbors … but don't count on me to be your one phone call from jail.To the tune of “It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”:It's a most ponder-ful time of the year!A time to reminisce - who did that, who said this?Who did we jeer or cheer?It's a most ponder-ful time of the year!Britney Spears staged a comeback, while Winehouse smoked more crackMadonna and Guy called it quits;She's been seen with A-Rod, who's kind of a big clod, But at least he's still scoring hits!It's the flashback-iest season once more! Looking back at the rich - who got hitched, who got ditched?Who made ratings soar?It's the flashback-iest season once more! The '08 election, lampooned to perfectionBy Tina Fey, funny and smart;Her good-natured nailin' of Governor PalinMade it hard to tell them apart!
Teenage stars made many headlines this year!Jamie Lynn caused a stir, parenthood ended herDisney TV career!Teenage stars made many headlines this year!
When young Miley went bareback, she caught a ton of flak,But there was more scandal ahead...The fans went bananas when Hannah MontanaTook photos that would make your face red!
Oh, the stork worked overtime all this year!Stars were breeding like bunnies and it sure seems funny:Twins from there to here!Yes, the stork worked over time all this year!
Angelina and J-Lo bore double the payload;Their photos were quite the big scoop!Ricky Martin had two boys and now he knows the joys Of livin' la vida de poop!
'Twas a year of gaiety, this is true:Katy P kissed a chick - and she really liked it;Lindsay Lohan, did too!'Twas a year of gaiety, this is true!
Then Clay Aiken came out (like there was any doubt),Ellen wed Portia at their posh pad;Major Sulu's big trip wasn't on a spaceship,But down the aisle with his beau Brad!
Sadly, we lost some bright stars this past year:Isaac Hayes, Bernie Mac and Paul Newman - it's fact:We wish they were still here!Sadly, we lost some bright stars this past year.
To Heath Ledger: Goodbye, you were too young to die;Farewell, Carlin, your humor lives on!Other people of fame - there's too many to nameLaugh with you in The Great Beyond!
There'll be more headlines and footnotes next year!First, a new Head of State ... "High School Musical" eight?Yes, the forecast is clear …There'll be more high jinks and low points next year!
